it's time I bring back the blog that I promised...good timing, because I am working on writing a book, so writing blogs will help keep me in the spirit. Maybe I will even post some excerpts and get opinions...
Besides that, I should probably give a quick update. When I started this blog, I was in the preparation process of applying to Mercy Ministries. I didn't end up going through with it because God provided the means to go back to Laureate, where I had been four months earlier. So on May 4th of this year, I admitted to Laureate for a grueling, tiring, overwhelming, but SO incredibly rewarding 4 1/2 months. It was not easy. It took a while to restore my physical health, weight and labs - and required me to allow someone else to make decisions about my life, AND took even more work to restore my emotional health. It is not an easy process trying to change thoughts and patterns that have been so instilled in one's mind for years. However, I was successful at making the necessary changes to ensure a life of freedom and hope. I discharged at the end of September. My plan was to rent a house in the Tulsa area and find work, but at the last minute I made the decision to move back home to Orlando and live with my parents while saving up some money. I know, being 25 and living with my parents again was a little bit of a blow to the ego, however I have found it to be just what I needed while getting back up on my feet. Life is pretty chill...working for my dad part time, doing the outpatient thing, and spending quality time with my family that I had missed out on for so many years. Chill is exactly what I needed in my life at this point in time. A break from life's ups and downs has been much appreciated. I am also trying to get back into graduate school right now. I'd love to be able to finish up my Master's and do something meaningful with my education, my time, and my life. Being able to give back a minute portion of what has been given to me is going to be well worth it <3
Recovery wise - I am doing WELL! It has been a while since I've been able to say that, and it makes my heart surge with pride. I actually feel pretty proud of myself, but even more than that, I am beyond grateful to those people who have been there with me every step of the way...friends, family, teachers, therapists. I had the most amazing treatment team at Laureate. They really meant it when they said they wouldn't give up on me! I recently saw my OP dietitian who told me I can now practice eating intuitively, and got my weekly sessions reduced in time. Progress...It is still a daily struggle, and probably will be for a while. I have to wake up each morning and decide before I step out of bed if I am going to choose my eating disorder of choose to live freely. And that's just it; I have the power to choose. I am not powerless. I have choices to make all throughout the day...what will I eat, will I exercise, will I refrain from using behaviors, will I be honest? I have choices. So yes, it is a daily struggle to make the right choices, but so far I have been pretty on track.
I will have 6 solid months in recovery on November 4th!
Now, for the randoms of my life...I recently had to go gluten free because of some stomach issues...I have been scouring the internet for some decent gluten free recipes and have come across a few that look appetizing. I also discovered the entire gluten free section at my local Whole Foods...and yesterday, my cashier invited me to an all gluten free halloween party this weekend and an all gluten free Thanksgiving party mid-November. How fun! I will be sure and post some of what I find so that those of you who are interested can share in my delighting.
Oh, and this weekend starts my string of mini vacations. The fam will be staying at the Rosen Shingle Creek in Orlando this weekend...we all just needed a little getaway. The following weekend I will be heading to Hilton Head, SC to meet up with one of my best friends, Elysia, for some fun in the sun! And then December 2-5th, I will be headed out to Tulsa to catch up with some of my favorite people! Looking forward to sharing with you about the escapades!
Finally, the book is coming along! I talked with a publisher in the area who gave me some great tips for organizing all of the information I have. I also now have a resource for publishers. It's looking good!
Alright, I should wrap this up now...It's thursday, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend :)
<3 LB
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