the end is not the end...

some things have happened recently that really have me thinking a lot about people, friendships, and life. i had some people in my life that i thought were true friends and have recently shown their true colors, leaving me wondering where things went so wrong. but maybe things really didn't go wrong. maybe the loss of these relationships just signifies the end of that chapter of my life and the start of a new one. i think it was actually a blessing in disguise that people i cared about have walked out of my life. i don't know that i would have had made the first move to begin letting go of some relationships that were formed during the eating disorder. i always worry that if i begin to let go of peole that i'll end up alone, but i know now that i have enough people in my life who are solid, steady, and true friends that i don't need to hold onto every relationship that was formed through treatment and such. it is liberating, indeed, to let go of parts and pieces of the eating disorder, and certain relationships are part of that which i can let go of. i also think it shows strength to be able to deal with the initial hurt and then make the conscious decision to move on. i'm not going to lie, it is hard to acknowledge that some people are in my life for a season and others for a reason, but it is worth it if the end result is feeling more free. actually, it is hard to let go in general. a friend of mine said it perfectly...it is, in essence, a mourning process. not only do i go through this with people, but just letting go of the eating disorder in general has been a mourning process. of course, it has also been a joyous and incredible process, as well.
i am ready to move forward into a new chapter of life. i am ready to embark on new journies, meet new people, and gain new life experience. i am excited to start this new chapter happy and healthy, strong, independent, focused, and content. i am ready to truly live life, to the best of my ability, and enjoy every second of it.
lesson learned through all of this - appreciate the amazing and supportive friends i do have in my life. i have been blessed with some pretty incredible friends who are always there for me, no matter what. i love that we can talk through things, work through differences, and continue to remain close. i love that we can talk about just about anything, laugh until we cry, be honest with each other, and just enjoy each other's company. my favorite part about having such awesome friends? the fact that no matter the distance or time, we can pick right back up where we left off, like no time or distance was ever an issue.
no end is ever really an end...it is simply an opportunity for a new beginning.

<3