this is going to be short and sweet.
i'm clearing the air so that no one has any reason to talk or assume anything. i'm done constantly having to prove myself. i feel like i've had to be more defensive of my recovery than of the eating disorder when i was actively in the eating disorder. so here it is...i am exactly where i am supposed to be weight wise, mealplan wise, and emotionally. i am seeing a team who weigh me and have me do food journals and are happy with where i am. i have been stable for months and months and am finally getting to experience that whole redistribution thing that all the professionals always told me would happen once i gave my body plenty of nourishment and time to settle without behaviors. i've done incredibly hard work and am very proud of where i am today. i don't eat "safe" foods anymore, rather i eat what i am craving and when i am craving it. if i want ice cream at 10:00 at night then i will absolutely get it. i feel comfortable and confident and am proud of just how far i have come. if people have doubts or issues with that then please have the respect to talk directly to me about it instead of turning to other people and talking. regardless, this is the end of my recovery defense. i am exactly where i am supposed to be and am happy and content and loving life. i'm making new friends, about to start applying to nursing school, finding new hobbies and avenues to get connected. i wouldn't change a thing about my life right now. so please, if you have concerns or questions, come to me directly, please.
LB I really proud of how far you have come. I believe in you.
ReplyDeleteI am so incredibly proud of you LB. You are amazing and help me feel less alone in this recovery process. It makes me smile to see you enjoying LIFE and discovering new things beyond your eating disorder such as going out with "normal" friends without eating disorders etc. I see a lot of myself in you and feel like we are in such similar places (hopefully you take that as a compliment ;)) Now that I got rid of FS I feel so much more disconnected from everyone but please shoot me some messages and keep me posted on life and recovery. You do not have to defend your recovery to ANYONE. As long as you are true to yourself and your team- than that is what matters. You've got this! Who would have thought that life is actually sweeter without the eating disorder in the frontline ;) <3 always.
ReplyDeleteGo you!! It's hard work and I think this is awesome! Don't let others bring you down or make you feel less proud of your achievements :)
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