today was a long and very daunting day...and i'm very glad it has come to an end.
i had to do a risk assessment at work today which consisted of getting my blood drawn, blood pressure measured, height and weight measured and then my body fat percentage measured. i asked not to see the weight and body fat but the machine they used to measure body fat required me to hold it in my hands and stretch my arms straight out in front of me so i saw the number anyway. it wouldn't have been so bad because i really didn't know what that number meant but the comment that followed was what really set me off. the woman proceeded to say to me "weird. you are small. i wouldn't think your body fat would be that high."
NOT OKAY.
i tried to push it out of my mind and move on with my day. i went to get panera for lunch and tried to think about things other than my weight and body fat percentage. i tried to act like it didn't bother me but it did. it is still bothering me. i mean, i've been feeling healthy. i've been working out and building lean muscle mass and eating right. i've been doing everything i thought i was supposed to do and then suddenly this comes out of left field. i'm just not sure how to deal and cope with this. i feel caught off guard.
i've encountered several things lately that have me feeling very discouraged. i really do feel like these are obstacles being put in my way in an attempt to get me to stumble and i know that i need to be stronger than all of this but it is hard.
it is harder than hard.
trying to stay strong and stand my ground when i feel like i do seems nearly impossible. yet i know i have no other choice. i just wish it didn't hurt so bad.
i know this is just a bump in the road. i know that i am more than numbers and weights and measurements. i know all of this logically. believing it is another story...but i'm working on it.
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