Time waits for no one

I've been struggling the past few days.
It has been much more of a fight to do the next right thing, get out of bed each morning, follow a meal plan, and stay positive. I've found myself feeling more defeated and less secure in who I am. I've also been struggling more with body image disortion. I know some of what I see is distorted because I can look in the mirror one minute and see one thing, then look again 5 minutes later and see someone that looks like they've gained at least 30 pounds. In case you can't figure that out, it's scientifically impossible to gain even a real pound in 5 minutes, let alone enough weight to change the size and shape of your body. Yet that is what I have been experiencing. I've been berating myself on not looking a certain way, the way I think I should look. No, I don't have a standard that is based on celebrities or models or other people...it's simply a standard I set for myself...a way of being that I think I should achieve.
Anyway, Saturday night I went out with some friends from Laureate and one of the girls I was with, C, who is very wise for her 21 years was telling me lots of things. She told me that she hated me when she first met me because she thought I hated her...how silly! I like just about everyone. But the information was startling because I know I never want to come across as hateful or intimidating, so it gave me something to think about and work on. She was also telling me that she thought I looked perfect now...that she could hardly tell a difference (which amazed me because my body went through a lot of weight restoration and physical change.) I think she meant I still had the bright eyes and smile and all. What she said next was what struck me the most. She said "Leah Beth, you are turning 27 years old this week. You look amazing for someone who is 27. You aren't supposed to look like you are 18. I hope I look like you at 27."
Wow. How accurate.
I am turning 27...I am no longer a teenager, nor in my early 20's. I no longer need to possess a body that resembles that age range. I'm actually closer to 30 now, so my body is supposed to reflect that age moreso. I don't think I've really thought about that until now. I still have this idea that I'm supposed to look thin and lanky like I did in college...but I'm NOT in college anymore. I'm growing up, life is moving on and changing around me, the world is continuing to turn on its' axis. Nothing is stopping or standing still, so why do I think myself and my body are exceptions to the properties of time? Maybe because I feel like I missed out on so much that I would love to stop time and have some catch up time and then press the restart button. Maybe because I feel like I lost a part of me somewhere and would like to stop time so I could go back and look. I don't know, but what I do know is that time waits for no one, including me. I'm almost 27. I guess it is time to start embracing all that means, mentally and physically and start doing what it takes to live like a 27 year old. That means I have to take better care of my body, and embrace my figure, and stop hating what I see and rather reframe it as the norm for someone my age. I need to start practicing more acceptance.
So my days of struggling were put into perspective by a simple conversation with a friend. I'm not even sure if she realizes the impact that it had, but impact it did have for sure.
It's time to get back into gear, sooner rather than later.
No time to waste.