the proof is in the pudding...

well, i'm all packed up and ready to head home to orlando tomorrow.
i love the city, and wish i could just skip out on real life and stay here.
who knows, maybe i will end up back here some day in the near future.
anyway, today was a good day as well. mom and i got up and went to brunch at the pancake pantry, which was a delicious recommendation of emily lane. totally worth the wait we had. i ordered the sugar and spice pancakes, ANDD an order of bacon. yum. afterwards, we headed to the country music hall of fame to tour and mess around for a while. so funny, there were a bunch of high school girls (being obnoxious as usual) and they were running around saying "ohmygod, we have to find johnny cash and taylor swift!" seriously? you only know who johnny cash is because of the movie "walk the line" and taylor swift? come on. learn what real country is. taylor swift is just the latest teen star to live a short, fast career and then fade into background. anyway, i just thought it was funny to hear about the high shcoolers taste in music.
we then went from the country music hall of fame to centennial park. they had a cute little art fair in the park. i so wish we had a park of that size in our area, but everything around me is so congested and overdeveloped. i really wish i had been raised in an area that had more of an outdoor focus. i love to be outside and enjoy God's beautiful earth. from centennial park, we drove to franklin, then out to leiper's fork because my brother told us about a little place to eat and hear some live music. the drive over was amazing. such beautiful scenery and houses. not to mention, lots of horses to look at. i found myself in awe of the green hills and beautiful valleys. i told my mom how lucky everyone in nashville is to have such beautiful scenery around them. my mom told me that so many people come to florida and just find it beautiful and beachy...we take for granted what we have and see everyday. how very true. not just the scenery, but the people in our lives, the opportunities and experiences. we take for granted things that we have and see daily and the things that come easy to us. i need to learn to be more attentive to the world around me and i might just find that i've been missing out on so much beauty.
so, after driving around forever, checking out the place my brother recommended and deciding that we stuck out like sore thumbs, we drove back to eat at monell's. of course, we went to the wrong one, had to turn around about 78 times, and then finally made it to the correct monell's. it's a family style restaurant where you sit with other people and pass big bowls of food around. all you can eat, and lots of sharing. i'm talking good, southern home cooking...ribs, fried chicken, catfish, greens, potatoes, peas, banana pudding. a year ago, just sitting at a table with strangers would send me into a panic attack, not to mention all the food. it just would have been a disaster. yet tonight, i found myself sitting down at the table, grabbing the bowls being passed my way, trying a little of everything, and not even thinking about calories. the first time calories even came to mind is when a man sitting at our table said that leaving the banana pudding to sit let all the calories leak out, so it didn't count for anything. i didn't even give that comment a second thought. i walked away completely amazed at the ease i felt and how natural it all seemed. it's amazing, really. i'm thinking less and less about food and calories, and having more okay body image days. maybe, just maybe, the eating disorder is losing its power. it's becoming a smaller and smaller entity in my mind. i never thought that would be possible, but it is. i still have my days, for sure, but nights like tonight remind me that things can become easier, and gives me hope that full recovery can be possible.
the proof is in the pudding...the banana pudding, that is!
so, it's back to real life, but thank goodness i'm alive.
<3