trust your intuition, your bodily intuition, that is...

i haven't posted in a while, so i thought i would update.
life has been busy lately, which is a nice change from the boredom i was dealing with a few weeks ago. i started school back on the 9th, and am really enjoying my classes. so far, i've made all A's on quizzes/tests/labs, but next week is going to be a killer test week. I will have an anatomy and physiology unit exam on tuesday, a microbio unit exam on wednesday, and then my anatomy and physiology lab practical on thursday. i should probably get on the studying and quit procrastinating, haha. i've met some really sweet girls in my micro class, and we made the best lab group in the class. okay, so we may be the "special" group because we need a LOT of explanation, but we are by far the most fun group :) it's so nice to have some friends my age now and have things to do. i've also been hanging with some guys that i've grown up with. my friend byron and i went kayak fishing on saturday in the intercoastal waterway, and then met up with some of his friends for the best crawfish boil ever. i ate so much that i could barely move but it was well worth it! i'm already having crawfish withdrawals. i'm trying to get my dad to go to the LSU orlando alumni chapters crawfish boil that is coming up. if you've never tried crawfish, you should!
on another exciting note, i was asked to speak at Laureate's family week in july!!! being asked to speak at family week is such an honor and really confirmed my hard work at recovery. i'm excited to get to head back to tulsa and spend time with some of my amazing friends and see some of the most amazing staff, but i'm also nervous about going back. i feel like i've finally got some separation from tulsa and the whole in my heart is starting to mend, but i can't pass up this opportunity. it will be my first speaking engagement and at the very place where i found myself. let's just say, it will be bittersweet.
i'm feeling really good in terms of recovery! i'm thinking less and less about the eating disorder and becoming more comfortable with listening to my body and feeding it based on what i am craving or desiring and learning to eat intuitively. i finally have permission from alice (my dietitian) to eat intuitively which is so freeing but somewhat nervewracking. it means i have to start to trust my body, and listen to it! i do worry from time to time that i'm going to over/under eat or not eat as balanced as i had been eating, but i guess it means i have to let go of some of that control and begin to trust myself. i've always had an issue trusting my body, and seriously doubted people who said everything would balance out and redistribute with time, but in time i have discovered that they are, indeed, correct! what a concept :) so yes, i am excited about intuitive eating! i love being able to move towards a new chapter of my recovery, though.
this year has been incredible, challening, rewarding, and freeing. i really have done recovery and pushed myself without a relapse, which is what i consider recovery to be. for me, a year isn't just a year from the date i admitted, it is a year of being active, maintaining my weight, eating my mealplan, venturing out, allowing myself to mess up and learn...i celebrate a year because i truly am in recovery, not because it happens to be a year from the time i began treatment.
and let me tell you, it has been such an amazing year.

well, i think i shall go eat intuitively and grab a quick snack before bed!
much love to all :)
LB