Today is the day!

"Today is the day! You're off to great places, you're off and away. You've got brains in your head and feet in your shoes...you can steer yourself any direction you choose!"

Today, after spending five long months at Laureate, I am walking out the doors a little stronger, a little wiser, and much more free. I have learned many lessons over the course of five months...some funny, some hopeful, and some common sense.

1) Sleep is of utmost importance. It can make or break the next day.
2) Eat yo damn food. It's just easier that way.
3) Sweatpants are a girl's best friend.
4) Being open and honest is the best way to go.
5) Being around a bunch of women who are refeeding does not smell pleasant.
6) It is next to impossible to hide something from the treatment team. They know about it almost before I know about it.
7) Laughter is good for the soul. I can never have too much laughter in life.
8) Playing games isn't just for 5 year olds. 26 year olds can also play some mean bananagrams.
9) Tears are absolutely okay. They are actually a sign of strength.
10) Just when I think I can't is usually when you realize that I can.
11) There is no such thing as try. There is only do or do not.
12) Food is fuel for the body and only has the power I give it.
13) Self worth is not defined externally. Self worth comes from within.
14) Don't waste time. It only prolongs the process. Time is precious.
15) Friends who understand and walk through this with me are worth more than any amount of money.
16) Make nice with the techs!
17) Healthy BM's have never been more important in my life than they are now.
18) Shopping, exercising, restricting, purging, self-harming etc. does not fill the void. It only makes the void bigger and more ominous.
19) When you can't control your environment, bathroom usage, food, schedule, or anything else, you can dye your hair!
20) Each time makes me a little stronger and gives me a little more recovery time. Setbacks are not failures, they are simply learning experiences and do not have to stop me dead in my tracks. I can continue moving forward and making progress.
21) Walking through the space and "ahhhhing" are apparently therapeutic. It took me a while to realize this.
22) Community can be the most fun time of day because "shit goes down."
23) Summertime in Tulsa means 69 cent QT drinks...heaven.
24) Passes usually consist of caffeine, chaos, and a little controlled rebillion. All in the name of recovery, of course.
25) Recovery IS possible!

I've learned much, much more throughout my time here so I can't list it all. It is bittersweet leaving, really. I've become accustomed to the pasty tan walls and ugly (but comfy) furniture. My twin bed feels like heaven at the end of a long day. I love having cable (nope, i'm stoneage and don't have it at my house) and actually have hot water when I shower. Mostly, I'm going to miss having people around when I need someone to talk to or sit with. However, nothing can take the place of a real bed in a real house with no restrictions or staff members in polos walking around at all hours of the day. Nothing can replace being able to make my own cup of coffee whenever I please and eat what I so choose and do as I please. Being back in the "real world" will definitely feel wonderful. I'm looking forward to a fresh start and starting a new chapter. I believe we start new chapters and keep adding to our books. I don't think our books are ever really finished, though. I think each phase of life is a new chapter and we write our stories as we go.
I'm writing a new part of my story, starting today.
Let's do this.