what a weekend?!

What a whirlwind weekend!
My sister-n-law went into labor on Saturday and had baby boy Andrew, my very first nephew. He is such a precious and beautiful little boy and i absolutely fell in love when I held him for the first time. He had a traumatic birth so he spent a little time in the NICU but got released yesterday and moved into a regular room, and gets to come home today. Needless to say, I spent the majority of the weekend going back and forth to the hospital. On top of that, I had my last summer school exam yesterday so I spent some time studying for that this weekend, as well.
We also went out this weekend to celebrate my parent's anniversary and my birthday (early) at Schula's steakhouse. The food was absolutely delish and I enjoyed my meal but afterwards I felt so sick and full and for the first time in a while had an intense urge to purge. I knew purging wasn't an option, so I chose to reach out instead. I was reminded that if I could make it through the night without using a behavior that I would feel so proud the following day. Sometimes, I forget what it means to look ahead when I'm so entrenched in the moment. This becomes especially hard when the moment is so intense and full of feelings. Though I still struggle and have to make the choice to do recovery during times of stress, I feel stronger each and every day and every time i overcome an urge or choose not to act on a feeling I celebrate a small victory...and that, my friends, feels amazing.
Beside all of that excitement, I am trying to get all the loose ends tied up, get registered for classes in tulsa, and get my stuff together for my move. I leave in 10 days! I can't believe how time has flown and I am starting to feel kind of stressed out and worried about my decision. I go through this with every deicison I make, so I am trying to remind myself that I have a plan and can do pretty much anything I put my mind to. I'm going to miss my family, probably a lot, but thank goodness I can fly allegiant home to visit on a pretty routine basis! I'm also stressing over how to pay for my fall classes, as they are not cheap...and in trying to figure out how to afford them i'm questioning if I even want to take two of the classes just so I can apply to 1 specific school. Applications for nursing school need to get started pronto, which is also adding some stress to my days. I'm beginning to feel a bit like a pressure-cooker, though I now have skills to help me relieve some steam in slow, steady increments instead of blowing my top all at once. Thank goodness for those skills that I have finally figured out how to apply in my own life :)
Well, what a weekend it has been. And what a week and a half it is going to be. Nervous, excited, bittersweet, sad, happy, worried, prepared, unprepared...that basically sums up where I am at the moment, but still ready for this new and exhilirating chapter of life.
<3