wow, what a day!
i've been pricing garage sale items non-stop, since 10am this morning! i can't say that it was very exciting, and was actually kind of hard because i was having to price and get rid of things that represented my sick periods of time. as much as i wanted to hold on to things in hopes that i would eventually fit back into them, i let go of them.
i've been struggling a lot with body image lately, and feel like my distortions are a little out of whack right now. i keep thinking that if i was just a little smaller my whole world would make sense again and i would feel much better about everything. i vacillate between wanting to diet again because i have delusions of grandeur and think that it would make me feel better, and becoming frustrated that i feel so inclined to fit into society's sick mold of what a real woman should look like. why should i have to limit myself, my food, my appetites? i shouldn't. i try to remind myself of this when i'm feeling the urge to restrict or limit myself, but sometimes it's just plain hard.
i guess that's how i am feeling today...like it's just hard. i don't feel like sugar coating it tonight. i feel like being honest about how i am feeling these days.
this is not to say that i'm all debbie downer, because i've actually been in better spirits yesterday and today. for that, i am very grateful.
so besides that, i also went walking with the fam today. we have a local grocery store and drug store 2 1/2 miles from us, so it's a good middle marker for a walk. walk there, mill around the grocery store, then walk back :) it was so nice, and the weather today was beautiful. we had a high in the low-mid 60s and a low around the upper 40's...oh, and sunshine :)
despite my bad body image, i've managed to enjoy some of my delicious favorites today...banana with white chocolate dreams PB, honey chex, hot chocolate, and red wine! YUM.
alright, well that concludes tonight.
much love,
LB <3
Personally, I'm sickened by the "image" that our society cast onto women. Sadly, it's something that happens across many cultures but it's just painful to watch so many amazing people struggle with themselves and their own self appreciation simply because they don't fit the typical mold of what society expects.
ReplyDeleteIt paints women as objects of sexual attraction and means for reproduction, instead of talking about the core values in which everyone should potentially exercise. Values like respect, loyalty, and dependability...
I say, do what makes you happy. Spend time discovering who you are and who you'd like to be. When it comes down to things like this, I refer to the 3 A's of awesome.
Attitude, Authenticity, and Awareness.
Thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your insight, and your 3 A's. I will definitely utilize them in life now!